goblins

Open Questions: A Goblin Admits Her Inadequacies

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goblin woman wearing glasses sitting at desk in study with pen/inkwell and open book, surrounded by books, paper, and candles

Have I ever heard the words of God? The God, any god? If I have, I confess that I couldn’t recognize the voice of God within my mind, and if anyone has ever divulged such words to me from their own received revelation, the divine inspiration of their word escapes me. And like so many others, I have never heard the spoken voice of God in my ear. Perhaps you can identify.

Captain Ezekiel Gamp

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This is Captain Ezekiel Gamp, badass weirdo goblin scientist in the vein of Marie Curie and Paracelsus and Tycho Brahe, whom a friend and I invented while exchanging some RP emails within my post-apocalyptic science-fantasy RPG campaign. Captain Gamp famously discovered that healing magic works best in an etheric ratio of 35 Earth : 30 Water : 20 Air : 5 Fire, while recovering from a particularly indulgent drunken binge. A renowned researcher, arcanist, astronomer, fencer, seafarer, gentleman’s gentleman, and connoisseur of hard liquor, his legacy lives on in both his contributions to magical theory and the Captain Gamp brand of whiskey.